The Gift of Intent and Understanding; Part 1

In 1905 an author named O. Henry published a short story called "The Gift of the Magi".  Here's the gist of it:

• Man and woman are in love, but poor.
• Man's most valuable possession is his pocket watch, but not a chain on which to carry it.
• Woman's most valuable possession is her long hair, but no combs with which to maintain it.
• Man, in secret, sells his watch to pay for a nice comb set for her.
• Woman, in secret, sells her hair to pay for pocket chain for him.
• During their Christmas day gift-exchange, the folly of their choices, however well-intended, were revealed.

The wisdom we're supposed to derive from this tale is that both received a gift greater than combs or a chain.  They each received the gift of love, evidenced by the extreme sacrifice they made for each other.

But wait, is that the best we can do?  

What if they knew in advance that their partner was willing to sacrifice their most valuable possessions AND they received a special gift, too?  

Read on for a modern interpretation and a twist on how to prevent the most common of misunderstandings - the other person's intent.

Let's do a quick 3-part reframing of our story:

Unfortunately ...

• Upon receiving a gift no longer useful, both the man and the woman had no other choice than to overlook the misfired gifts.
• Instead, their judgment focused only on the other person's intended actions (sacrifice), not by the intended result (sacrifice + gift).

For one person to accurately judge another person's intent AND sacrifice, there must be a greater understanding. 

So, the new takeaway to this timeless story? 

Communicate your intentions to improve understanding.

The even better news is that aligning our intents, actions, and judgments is achievable with more authentic communication.

Buzzwords aside, authentic communication is a real step-up from 'business as usual'.  

I've discovered that the very best communicators among us rely on the essential skills below to consistently and successfully get our point across:

1. Giving and receiving feedback
2. Exhibiting emotional intelligence
3. Briefing and debriefing
4. Maintaining self-esteem
5. Receiving and managing criticism

If you're confident in your skills in the above areas, I offer a hearty congratulations.  Authentic communicators are definitely in demand. 

However, if you are like most of us reading this article and could use some (or a lot) of improvement in our communication skills, I invite you to browse the below exclusive Guidebooks for the mix of solutions which are right for you and your team.